A Mom’s Puzzle

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We go to school to learn the 3 R’s. One gets on the bike to know how to ride it. You get wet to learn swimming. You sit behind the wheel to start driving. A chef goes to culinary school. A doctor enrolls in med school.

What about a mother? Where does she go to learn to be a mom? How does she become a good mother? Why does she need to be one?
I want to be a good mom because my “Children are a heritage from the Lord, (my) offspring a reward from him.” (Psalm 127:3)

I have 3 children – 2 adults (millennials and a teen (Gen Z). Each one is unique. With the adults, I need to practice letting go and trust that they are mature enough to know what’s right and wrong. I need to learn to tread carefully – neither too distant and aloof nor too nosy and overbearing. It is not easy. Where do I put myself? Do I wait for them to approach me without seemingly being indifferent? How do I show my concern? I let them know in word and deed that I accept them for who they are. I will listen without judging. I will listen more than speak. I will need wisdom to say the right words in the right manner at the right time when they ask or when they come to me.

With the adolescent, I need as much care if not even more attention and caution. Adolescence is transition from being a child to an adult. My teen is a child no longer but neither is she an adult yet. I need to be firm yet affirm her need to be no longer a child. It is not easy either. With a 40 year age gap, how does one become a cool mom to her teen… one that loves her child enough to let her grow in stature and wisdom – in favor with God and man? Short answer – by God’s grace and mercy – through much prayer and dependence on God’s wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit.

There is no school to go to – to be a mom… and there is no such thing or person as the perfect mom. A mom is simply one who loves her children enough to be the ordinary person in the middle – neither too harsh nor too cold; neither too dictating nor too condoning… She is the one behind her children – she’s got their backs. She walks alongside her children – to hold their hands and listen to their hearts. She is thankful when she gets to take a peep inside their minds because her children know she loves them.

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