Do u know faith takes practice? By myself, i cannot ‘not’ worry. But God is faithful. He helps me to grow my faith.
When I first got diagnosis for suspicious cancer cells, my doctor was quite positive about it. He encouraged me saying “Everything’s going to be fine. Nothing to worry about.” I appreciate his positive attitude. When results came in, his words taught me a lesson. I can’t remember exactly what he said. I discovered that while it is good to look forward with hope, it is practical to accept with faith. Faith that is more than who I am but more of who God is. Faith that is by His grace and mercy.
My youngest was just turning 7. As I sat with them around the dinner table, I was greatly comforted to see her achis passing her food and taking care of her. God let me witnessed that it’s going to be alright. Mimi will be taken care of.
I was thankful I had a cook and 2 other helpers with us. The next day, the cook approached me to say she’s leaving to take another job to be near her son. I realised my security blanket was not that secure. God wanted me to depend less on men and more on Him. But He let me practice my faith with some scaffolding. So He touched the cook’s heart to stay on for a month longer so I could recover from my surgery. After the cook left, I requested that the 2 remaining helpers carry on the work.
Today this issue/concern with helpers is a constant ‘thorn’ for me. An unpleasant thorn (tinik in Tagalog) that I wish God would take away. In the months when mama passed away, I had surgery from bad fall and papa got sick, God provided more scaffold to practice my faith. He sent helpers and caregivers beyond what I could ask or pray for. I am amazed at His great timing. My caregiver arrived on the day I had my surgery. She went 24 hour shift -going from another patient to wait for me in the room while I was in recovery. She then became the reliever of my father’s caregivers. Today she is my mother-in-law’s caregiver. I thank the Lord for His providence. I confessed my faithlessness and praise God for his faithfulness that this ‘tinik’ is a blessing in disguise for me to trust him more.
The dual lens of faith is to take both the good and the bad from the hand of God. It is not about me. It is about God. It is not about me worrying less and trusting God more. It is about experiencing and knowing God’s character more in the challenges of life. Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit says the Lord. (Zechariah 4:6)
Not big strong faith nor powerful trust but everything by God’s sufficient grace… grace that helps me grow my faith.