How do you feel if a friend offended you – say bad things behind your back? I felt sad and disappointed. Indeed a wrong done often causes grief and pain. It is sad if it’s done to a person. How much more if the wrong is done to a group of people?!
This is what Paul taught the Corinthian church when there was someone who caused grief and pain to the church:
2 Corinthians 2
5 If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. 6 The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient.
7 Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
8 I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.
Principle 1: Forgive the offender. Why?
1.1. Punishment on him when he was ostracised and criticised is enough. v. 6
1.2. Forgive the offender for his sake. So that he will not suffer too much. v. 7
1.3. Restore him – reaffirm your love for him – to receive him back into the community.
9 Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. 10 Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,
Principle 2: Forgive for Christ’s sake.
Stand the test and obey God’s command to love my neighbour. How? Forgive as I was forgiven. Forgive one another as we love one another.
11 in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
Principle 3: Forgive so we do not let Satan win.
Satan likes to disrupt peace in our Christian community. He is happy when Christians quarrel and harbour hate and bitterness in our hearts. Let us forgive so that we defeat Satan in his scheme.
Application:
Peacemaking is the work of the Holy Spirit. Sadly, I sometimes feel that I was unsuccessful at being a peacemaker. I cannot be the holy pilit (Tagalog term for forcing) to insist that friends in conflict forgive each other. Forgiveness is a voluntary thing – it cannot be demanded by anyone else other than offered by the one who has been offended.
Forgiveness starts with me… even when there was no apology given. Even when I did not hear – “I’m sorry” even when the offending party did not think that there was a wrong committed. I have to decide in my heart to forgive. Forgiveness is more than just passively letting go without taking any vengeful act. Forgiveness is active. Paul said to reaffirm my love for the offender. Active forgiveness is to do something to restore him back – to comfort him, to assure him of my forgiveness. Jesus showed active forgiveness when he washed his disciples’ feet – even those of Judas and Peter and Thomas.
Forgiveness is giving up my right to recompense, denying myself the pleasure of saying that I was right and he was wrong. Forgiving is about giving bread to the ‘enemy’ and giving him something to drink.
The reason I forgive is because I was forgiven. The reason I forgive is because I do not want Satan to have the last say.
It is not easy to forgive. But practice makes perfect. It does not mean that I condone the wrong and let it happen again and again. I tell the offending party what I feel about it – I was hurt, I feel sad. I might even tell him/her that I was angry. But then I forgive – not only with words (sometimes action speaks louder than words), I forgive by not dwelling on the wrong, but by thinking of how I can make right, make it better.
I forgive because I am aware that Satan tries to disrupt peace in my heart when I do not forgive.
How about you, dear friend? Have you forgiven the one who caused you grief? Have you comfort, and reaffirm your love for the one who wronged you?
Forgive and win over Satan’s scheme! Forgive and find joy in your heart because you obey God to love your neighbour as yourself.
Help me Lord today to forgive as you forgave me. Amen.
