How can I forgive.. let me count the ways…How do I forgive again and again?
I can forgive if/when I remember the good about the person – what (s)he did to help me in the past, even if it were just only one good thing.
I can forgive when I remember how God forgives again and again – the bad things I did again and again..
I can forgive when I see the good in the person who God created in His own image.
I can forgive when I choose to focus on the good in the person – when I step into his/her shoes, to understand and see through his/her eyes where (s)he is coming from.
Let me share a story to illustrate my last point.
A friend once pointed out to me that hubby is faithful to me. He is responsible in providing for his family. I cannot remember exactly how we arrived at these observations. But I know it was because I was sadly sharing how I struggled in my unforgiving and hurting heart.
I realized that loving my neighbor as myself calls me to love as I want or need to be loved. We all love and seek to be loved in different ways. The sad thing is often we love others in ways we ‘like’ to show our love. We love to give gifts that we like. We love according to the manner that we think is best for us.
My mom-in-law liked to cook for hubby. For her, food is the most important thing to keep her son healthy and well. She would cook late at night, asking what he would like to eat. She would ‘nag’ him to eat because that was what she does best – cooking and feeding him, taking care of his needs since young. She loved her only begotten son more than anyone in this world. She forgave again and again because in her eyes, he is all good – the gift from God 天赐.
Going back to my friend showing me the way to forgive: she pointed out to me how hubby shows his love to/for me which I was too self-focused to see. She opened my eyes to see a side of hubby which I have taken for granted. Sure, I know that he is my loyal and faithful husband. He is generous and providing for the needs of our family. But it took a gentle nudge from my friend to point me in the right direction – how I need to forgive again and again, how I can forgive again and again through the eyes of love.
