. . . and Joshua said to them, “Cross again to the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan, and each of you take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the sons of Israel. Let this be a sign among you, so that when your children ask later, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ then you shall say to them, ‘Because the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.’ So, these stones shall become a memorial to the sons of Israel forever.”
– Joshua 4:5–7
One morning, when I got up to go to the bathroom, the room was in total darkness. As I walked towards the water closet, I remembered my father—who was almost blind—and how he used to walk slowly and tentatively towards where he wanted to go, as if remembering with each step where he thought the place must be.
When it is dark and I cannot see, my memory becomes my sight. My worst fear used to be blindness. When I started this journey of writing, I was anxious about not being able to see the whole picture, not knowing how to piece the parts together. But as I read through the bits and pieces, I remembered the words God gave me, the stories he shared with me, the journey he walked with me.
When I was young, I had better memory: I could memorize all the lessons and details of all the subjects in school. I even memorized all the schedules of my favorite TV shows—days, times, channels. Then there were birth- days, phone numbers, bank account numbers. As aging has caught up with me, I am often frustrated that I cannot even remember whether I took my medicine five minutes after I think I did.
More than raw data, our mind stores memories of relationships shared over time and space throughout our lives. Indeed, our capacity to remember is an important asset of our being. A person with amnesia can be likened to a tree with no root. Without the roots of our past, both the good and the bad, we cannot stand against the storms of life. While we need to let go of the wrongs, failures, and regrets of our past, we need to hold on to the hurdles we passed, the temptations we overcame, the healing and good guidance that led us to where we are now.
When Joshua leads the Israelites to cross the Jordan River—in their final phase of the journey to take possession of the Promised Land—God instructs him to have the leaders of the twelve tribes carry stones from the river to commemorate this event. The stones are to serve as a lasting memorial to remind the people of God’s guidance, faithfulness, protection, and provision in leading them into the Promised Land.
In my life, I have many standing stones of God’s grace and mercy. In this book, I have tried to remember the major standing stones that mark turning points in my life, and I have tried to tell my stories through the lens of God’s Word. I hope and pray that the Holy Spirit will enlighten the way for me to relate God’s Word to each step of my life journey.
At times, I have been bewildered about which stories to include and how to connect them. But then I remembered how in the book of Numbers, twelve spies are sent out to scout the Promised Land. Ten of them give a bad report, anxiously comparing themselves to the giant size of the land’s inhabitants (Num. 13:28–29, 31–33). After hearing this report, all the people cry out in fear and regret: “If only we did not leave Egypt . . . if only we died there or in the desert… what if the giants kill us all . . . what if our family were taken captive . . . Perhaps better to go back to Egypt” (Num. 14:1–4).
But two people give a positive report. Joshua and Caleb say, “We should go take possession of the land for we can certainly do it… If the Lord is pleased with us” (Num. 13:30, 14:8, emphasis mine). They report that the land is exceedingly good—filled with giant grapes, flowing with milk and honey (vv. 7–8). They declare that God will lead them into the Promised Land and give the land to them as long as they fear God and not men. They focus on God, remembering how God led them out of Egypt.
Angered by the people’s fear and doubts, God says:
“These forgetful and ungrateful people… How long before they turn from their contempt and unbelief in me?” (v. 11).
When the people see how the ten spies who brought the bad report die of a plague (v. 37), they believe that God will give them victory over the giants. But when they fight the giants, they fail because they ignore Moses’s warning and, by themselves, do things their way, by their timetable (vv. 40–45).
I don’t want to be timid like the ten spies, who focus on the giants, but rather like Joshua and Caleb, confident in God’s grace and mercy through the whole of my story.
Later, in Numbers 33, when the Israelites finally arrive in the Promised Land after journeying for forty years in the wilderness, God tells Moses to record the stages and stopovers of their travel.
They trace how their journey started with their libera- tion from slavery as the Egyptians buried all their first-born “whom the Lord had struck down among them” (33:4). This ended their long stopover in Egypt. They record each succeeding milestone and landmark of God’s protection and provision during their flight: the Red Sea, where Egyptian soldiers and horses were drowned; Elim, where springs and palm trees abound; Rephidim, where they found no water; and many other places, where the people complained of food and water. All these stopovers were recorded so that the people of God would remember the significant places along their journey to the Promised Land.
In each of our lives, we need to remember the signifi- cant events of God’s guidance and providence, each stop or milestone that taught us a lesson along the way. When we remember the mistakes we made, we strive not to repeat the same mistakes. For moments of triumph, we give thanks for God’s grace and mercy.
As I reflect on my journey, my hope is that it will spark memories and connections within your story. What do you need to remember all the days of your life? How has God shown you his goodness in your life? Is memory lighting the corners of your mind? Or is your memory getting dusty from the challenges and difficulties of the present? Now is the time to remember and celebrate.
Each of us has standing stones of God’s grace and mercy. The following excerpt from “All the Way My Savior Leads Me,” a song by Fanny Crosby, reminds us of God’s presence with us through all seasons of life:
All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide? Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort, Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well . . .
Dear God, thank you for your acts of grace and mercy to me. Please help me to remember all the days of my life, when you lead me through both valleys and the mountains, good times and bad. Let me celebrate your goodness always. Amen.
