Where did I meet hubby? At my first job. It was his also. How did he court me? He nearly did not. I called him first. 
I called to ask him to return to work coz he resigned. I wanted him to help me do my job. He first came to work on Labor’s day 5/1/83. He didn’t know that it would be the start of hard labor for the rest of his life.
What attracted him to me?
1) His height. I don’t know why but I’ve always had preference for tall guys. Even movie actors.. I remember asking him if his parents were tall. No, they’re not.
2) His wit. He made me laugh. He also made fun of me. He once told me that our company service vehicle had 3 flat tires and I was so gullible I believed him.
Seriously, how we got to be together is God’s plan working out through my ninang’s (Filipino word for godmother) initiative. My mom told me my ninang wanted to match me with someone. I said: I don’t want kai siao. So she referred hubby to work in the company of our ninong-boss instead. And the rest is His-story. When we had our civil wedding (4/3/87), these two people were our witnesses. At our church wedding (5/17/87), ninong-boss was in the US. Ninang’s hubby walked her down the aisle to proxy for ninong-boss.
Today, I so admire how ninong (ninang’s hubby) loves ninang in the way he cares for her. Mom used to tell me often that ninong took great care of ninang whenever she saw them at church. I also learn from my other ninangs how they take care and love my ninongs. I still connect with them on Viber. I’m glad my parents left me the legacy of having godly godparents to learn from.
How do I summarize almost 39 years of our love story? God’s grace and mercy amidst human weaknesses. While it is true that hubby makes me laugh, he also makes me cry. That is the reality of married life. I too have many faults and weaknesses. I often frustrate him. Mom once told me that hubby might have felt frustrated because I was his choice. He chose me just as I chose him. But God chose both of us. He’s the one who put us together. His love keeps us together.
Pain is part of loving. The reason I cry or why he’s frustrated, is because we care. Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is. The moment I start to feel indifferent, when I no longer care what he did to me, then it means I no longer love him. It works both ways.
If you were to ask me, what’s the secret recipe in this ‘love-hate’ relationship that we have? It’s not that I hate him, I just find him so ‘unlovable’ many times in our long journey. The feeling is not there. But love is more than feeling. Love is a ‘mental’ choice. Forgiveness takes practice of a lifetime. To forgive divine. To say please forgive me is not easy. Humility is life-long journey. I will never arrive in this lifetime.
I recently enrolled in a 14-week seminar on Foundations of Emotional Health. The teacher gave us an assignment: Appreciate 3 people and 1 person 3x in the coming week. So I told hubby: I appreciate you, dear for initiating good conversations with the kids during mealtime, for…. to help us exercise and for working everyday to provide for our family. He replied with a pic of a yellow thank you under a sun with 2 hearts for its eyes. The next morning, he came into the bedroom and gave me a hug.
So here ends my valentine’s gift for you, my reader. Appreciation begets appreciation as love begets love. Go out and love someone today. Hug your hubby/wifey. Appreciate your mom/dad. Kiss your children/brothers/sisters. Tell them ‘I love you’ and show them how!
A blessed Lord’s day to you, my friend.
