When my dad passed away, a friend said to me at the wake: Lubusan ka ng naulila. (Now you are truly orphaned.) Yes, indeed, I became a middle-aged orphan.
Let me share my thoughts as a middle-aged orphan.
I am a grateful orphan. I have a heavenly Father who takes care of me, who knows my inner thoughts and feelings, who understands my strengths and weaknesses, who judges me not when I confess my failures and open my candid human nature.
I am an orphan adopted by friends of my parents. Even though ma and pa are no longer with me, they left me with godparents whom I can go to for godly advice and comfort. When mama first passed away, I was near breakdown. On the morning when mom passed away, kuey bu (godmother) called me long distance over the phone from down under. She comforted me and told me to take care of myself, to think of the good times I shared with mama.
My other ninang visited me and showed her concern when I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was comforted by her presence. My ninongs and ninangs showed their love for my family by visiting my dad. They prayed for him. My godparents also visited me when I broke my ankle and had surgery.
Although my godparents do not live near me, today’s technology made it possible for me to connect to them anytime anyhow whenever I need a listening ear. One time I was sad after hubby and I had a fight. I text my ninang to pray for us. She gave words of wisdom about how she and ninong went through bumps along the way.. she told me it’s not about iron sharpens iron but also about humility – having trimming our rough edges. And this piece of advice greatly comforted and encouraged me.
I am an orphan accompanied by other orphans. I remember a week after my mom passed away, I went on a trip with 2 friends from church. I learned that one lost her mom when she was just 1 year old. The other friend lost hers when she was just half my age. I realised with deep gratitude how blessed I am to have my mom with me for more than 5 decades.
Today, I am learning to be a brave and strong orphan. I often miss my parents especially when I am sad or I am glad – when I want to tell them why I am sad or when I want to share good news with them. I remember during the wake of my mom, even on the day of her funeral, I said to her and to myself, it’s ok mom, I will be fine now – you’ve accompanied me for the past 54 years. I am grateful that God did not take you when I first came into this world. I am now an adult – 妹阿and I will be fine. We will take care of each other.
As I write these thoughts, I want to say Thank you, heavenly Father because you take care of widows and orphans, you take care of me always. Help me to help other orphans – to go alongside people u bring to me so that i can comfort them with same comfort that I receive as an orphan. Amen.
