Yesterday, the sermon was about forgiveness – from the story of Joseph – how he forgave his brothers. The pastor said that the first thing in forgiveness is ‘naming the sin.’ Joseph named the sin even as he forgave them. They sold him into slavery. (Gen. 45:4-5)
Eating humble pie describes how I feel about forgiveness. It is hard to be humble. It hurt my pride to ask for forgiveness esp from my children. The worst was when i had to apologize to the offended in front of a crowd. Napahiya ako. I was ashamed. I didn’t know she was mad at me. I swallowed my pride and said: I’m sorry, M (I named her) I upset you. Please forgive me. She named the sin and I accepted it, no excuse.
Another example was staying quiet when my offense was named publicly. Though my name was not mentioned, everyone in the room knew it was me. After the meeting, I said, I’m sorry, _ for what I did. Please forgive me. She told a friend she could not sleep that night because of what I said. The vindication came years after when the friend told me.
In Hokkien, the word love and pain sound alike. They’re both ‘thiah.’ It hurts me most when someone I love hurt me. It is also hard to see a loved one hurting. I forgive even when it hurts. I forgive even when there is no apology. I choose to feed the one who hurt me even when I do not feel like doing it. Karl Barth said joy is a defiant nevertheless. So is forgiveness. It is often against our nature to forgive or ask for forgiveness.
My model on forgiveness and humility is Jesus. He is the son of God yet he washed the feet of those who betrayed him, denied him, doubted him. It must be painful that they all left him in his hour of need – on the way of the cross. He stayed quiet when accused falsely. He asked God to forgive those who put him on the cross because they did not know what they were doing.
To forgive is not to forget that I was forgiven by a gracious and humble Savior.
